


Lemonade

by tortiecat (orphan_account)



Series: Old Friends, New Friends [2]
Category: due South
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Gen, Post-Call of the Wild
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-22
Updated: 2013-05-22
Packaged: 2017-12-12 15:28:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/813118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/tortiecat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A sequel to "Sweet Home Chicago." Ray has started physical therapy, and tells Fraser why it's hard to call someone else by his name.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lemonade

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to my friends on William and Elyse's forum for the encouragement, and to ButterflyGhost for being my beta. And a big thank you to all of those who've read my first story and liked it. You've really helped this gen, friendship-only writer to keep writing!

Fraser was turning the pages of Entertainment Weekly’s summer movie preview when Ray entered the waiting room. The Trib was folded up neatly beside him. Ray was sure that, during the hour that he was being tortured by the therapist, Benny had already read the newspaper cover to cover.

He walked behind Fraser and looked over his shoulder. “See anything you like, Benny?”

Fraser looked at Ray, and a fleeting moment of concern crossed his face before he replaced it with a smile. “The movie with Mr. Redford sounds intriguing. As does the war movie with Mr. Hanks.” Fraser set the magazine on a table and led Ray to the door.

“Yeah, I thought you’d like those two, with you liking horses so much and being a history buff.” Ray didn’t actually know what the summer movies were. Mob bosses didn’t mix with the masses at the local Regal Cinema – they had media rooms in their mansions that were bigger than all of the rooms in his and Angie’s apartment. As Armando, Ray had his pick of videos to watch, but he didn’t see any summer movie trailers in a theater.

The humidity outside the clinic cut into Ray like a knife to butter, and his face quickly became damp with sweat. His left side, the one that the therapist – Matt somebody – had worked, was starting to ache. Ray shaded his eyes against the afternoon sun as he started to walk to the car, then stopped when he felt Benny’s hand lightly on his back.

“Ray, I could pull the car up to the door…”

Ray didn’t want his friend to worry. He knew Benny had done that too much in the last two months.

“Nah, Benny, it’s fine. My legs aren’t broken.” Ray grinned at his friend.

Benny wanly smiled back, and didn’t say another word as he and Ray walked to the car, Benny’s hand hovering behind Ray’s back. _Guess he thinks I could hit the pavement anytime,_ Ray thought.

Benny had parked Frannie’s little hatchback under shady trees, so the black leather seats weren’t scorching. Ray sank into the passenger seat gratefully and closed his eyes. He should have realized that May humidity in Chicago could be as bad as August heat in Vegas.

Benny drove carefully through the hospital district traffic, almost as if he was afraid to jostle Ray. Ray stared out the window, not really seeing anything.

“Ray, Michael is so excited to be chosen as the catcher on his team.” Benny tried to make small talk. “He asked me before he left for school this morning if I could come to his first game, which is in two weeks. He wants you to come, too. I said we’d have to see if that is a possibility.” 

Ray closed his eyes, trying to ignore the dull throb in his side. He did want to see his oldest nephew’s Little League game – to be at the park again, with its duck pond and flower gardens near the baseball diamond. As much as he loved being back home, with its familiar rooms, furniture and smells, he felt the walls closing in sometimes, and wanted to go somewhere other than the hospital for therapy and doctor visits.

“Yeah, I’d like that, Benny,” he answered.

“I’m very proud of Michael. He’s worked diligently the past year to improve his skills so he could be chosen for the team. Ray actually worked out with the Cubs, so he came over when he could in the evenings to pitch to Michael. Tony helped, too, but he’s not as athletic as Ray.”

 _Ray._ He cringed a little each time he heard his replacement called by his own name. The undercover job was over now, for both of them. _So why was Stanley still calling himself “Ray?”_ Ray thought. _And it should have been me helping Michael, not him_.

He swallowed heavily. “Yeah,” he managed to answer. He closed his eyes again against the ache of his side and a growing headache. He felt Fraser reach over to turn up the air conditioning. Ray leaned back against the headrest and welcomed the cool air blowing on him.

He was almost asleep when he felt the car slowing and crunching into a driveway. Ray’s eyes snapped open, and he saw that Fraser was pulling into an old-fashioned drive-in. Only it looked like it had been built in the 1980s and not in the ‘50s.

“Where are we, Fraser? Why are we stopping?”

 “This is D’Angelo’s. Mr. D’Angelo bought the older restaurant some 15 years ago and refurbished it. It supposedly serves one of the best meatball sandwiches in Chicago. I haven’t tried it because I've only ordered the chicken sandwich. But I can say that the lemonade is wonderful and very thirst quenching. I thought we could both use a cup.” Benny turned off the car, rolled down the window and efficiently ordered two larges.

He met Ray’s eyes, and didn’t try to hide his concern this time. “Ray, are you all right? Are you in pain?” he softly asked.

Ray flinched, and knew he couldn’t hide anything from Benny and the big-eyed Mountie look. “It’s not much, Benny. I’m just a little achy and headachy.”

“Well, Dr. Patel did say that therapy could be difficult and painful for you at first. He doesn’t want you to take more of the Percocet than the prescribed dosage, but he did say you could have ibuprofen if it will be more than four hours before the next dosage.” Benny reached into his shirt pocket and drew out the small bottle.

“Always knew you were a regular Boy Scout, Benny. Or is ‘be prepared’ another Mountie motto?”

“Not officially, Ray.”

The lemonades arrived, and Ray popped the tablets in his mouth and quickly washed them down. He savored the icy, sweet and tangy liquid and immediately felt cooler.

“Benny, this is great! How’d you find this place, anyway?”

“Ray told me about it.”

 _Ray again_. “Stanley comes here often?”

“Yes, he started coming here not long after Mr. D’Angelo opened. Ray’s parents used to live nearby, and he would stop on his way to or from visiting his parents. After they moved to Arizona, he still came. And then he started taking me here for lunch.”

Ray stared at his lap and sucked slowly on his straw, willing himself to let go of jealousy. “I’ll have to thank Stanley for telling you about it,” he muttered.

He felt Fraser’s eyes frowning at him. “Ray, please don’t call him Stanley. His name is Ray.”

Ray turned to his friend. Fraser’s mouth was turned down. Ray didn’t want him angry at him, but he felt like a little kid who’d been scolded for tracking in mud. “Fraser – his name is _Stanley Kowalski_. Welsh said so. I’m back, so he doesn’t need to be Ray anymore.”

“He was Ray before the undercover job. His full name is Stanley Raymond  Kowalski, and he’s used Ray as his first name since he was 12.” Fraser sounded both patient and patronizing. Ray became aware of his aching side and nagging headache again.

“Well, now _I’m_ Ray again, and he’s using _my_ name! Everyone’s calling him by my name, even you, and even Ma. I can’t be Ray when someone else is Ray! Understand, Fraser?!” Ray didn’t realize he’d sound so harsh. He turned away when tears sprang to his eyes.

“Ray, you’re overreacting. Of course you’re Ray, and he is, too.”

Ray knew he should be irritated at Fraser’s matter-of-fact tone and yell at him. Instead, more tears came, and he tried to wipe them away without Fraser noticing.

“Ray?” Fraser questioned.

 Ray closed his eyes and leaned back against the headrest again. “Fraser, I was someone else for a full year,” he softly said. “My name was Mr. Langoustini, or Armando, or sometimes Boss. I wasn’t even me to the FBI. They called me Agent Chicago, or just Chicago. They said they couldn’t call me by my real name because it would compromise my cover. Or maybe they knew I could screw up and be wacked anytime and they didn’t want to go to my funeral. Nobody’s obit says Agent Chicago, so they wouldn’t have known where to go.” This time, Ray let a tear roll down his cheek.

 “The first time I was in the hospital, after being shot, I knew I was finally not Armando Langoustini, or Boss, or Agent Chicago. I was me, and I wanted people to call me by my name. I didn’t expect for someone else to still be ‘Ray’ to my family or my best friend. I mean, I knew from the fibbies that he would use my name while he was posing as me. But the job’s over, and he’s still me. I can’t be me again.” He choked back a sob and hid his face from Fraser.

 A long silence passed. Then Ray became aware of a gentle hand on his back. He turned. Fraser’s expression was entirely serious and Ray saw pity in his eyes. No – not pity, but concern.

 “Ray, I didn’t know it bothered you so much to have Ray Kowal- that is, Detective Kowalski, called Ray, by your family, and by me. I do understand now.” Fraser set his drink cup in the cup holder with Ray’s cup, and placed his arm around Ray’s shoulder gingerly. Ray stiffened with the embrace. But no other cars were nearby. After a minute, Ray relaxed into the embrace, and Benny squeezed his shoulder.

 “You _are_ you again, Ray. And you were always you. While you were gone, you were very missed – by your family, by your friends at the 27 th and by me.”

Ray sighed. “It doesn’t seem that way, Benny. Everyone seems to love the guy. The kids ask when he’ll come over, because he’s fun. They even call him ‘Uncle Ray,’ and that’s _my_ name. Ma wants him around, too.” He stared down at his lap.

“He cares about your family, Ray, and they care about him. He was very lonely when he and I first met, and I was glad that Ma accepted him. But it took some time. The first time he came for Sunday dinner with me, Ma wouldn’t let him sit in your chair, and she told him she couldn’t call him ‘Ray.’ Ray said she could use ‘Stanley,’ as long as they weren’t out in public. Eventually, Ma began saying ‘Ray,’ like the rest of us.”

Fraser paused. “Ray can be very fun, Ray. But I’ve always had a great time with you when we’ve worked on cases, or gone out to eat, or played basketball. Anytime I spend with you can be fun.”

“I’m not much fun now, Benny. I can’t do much,” Ray sighed, thinking of Dr. Patel’s words two days earlier. _Physical therapy will take some time, Raymond. You won’t be back to how you were for months. But you should take just one day at a time, and not look ahead too much._

But Ray knew he had to walk Frannie down the aisle of St. Mike’s in about four months. He wanted to be back at the 27th by that time, too. And Benny would start his new posting this summer, and Ray wanted him to enjoy the rest of his time in Chicago, which meant doing more than staying at home with him. He wanted to do the things he and Benny had done before Las Vegas, because he didn’t know when he’d see Benny again after he left. Benny had firmly told him, however, that nothing would stop him from being an usher in Frannie’s wedding.              

 _Why would Benny want to still be my friend when Kowalski’s so much better for him than me? He jokes around with Kowalski. He didn’t do that with me_ , Ray thought.

Benny seemed to read his mind. His voice was soft and reassuring.

“We will have fun again someday, Ray, when you’re stronger. Right now, it doesn’t matter to me if you’re less ‘fun’ than Ray. It’s enough for me to just talk with you, and hear you call me ‘Benny.’ I missed that.” 

 “Stan…Kowalski made fun of me saying it – ‘Oh, _Benny_ – that’s cute,’” Ray replied bitterly.

“I know, Ray, and that was wrong of him. I should have spoken up and told him I love being ‘Benny.’” Fraser removed his arm from around Ray’s shoulder and reached for his lemonade. He took a long sip before continuing.

“It wasn’t just Ma who didn’t want to call him ‘Ray’ at first. It was hard for me, too. I knew I had to, but he wasn’t you. Oh, Ray, it was so disconcerting at first! I even felt disloyal to you for pretending to be his friend, when I just wanted you back.”

“But you’re not pretending now.”

“No. He and I are true friends. But, Ray, that doesn’t take away from my friendship with you.” Fraser paused and sipped again. He set his empty drink cup down and gently squeezed Ray’s shoulder again. “I consider myself very fortunate to have both you and he as my closest friends. And I hope that you and he will become friends as well.” 

Ray stared down at the floorboards. “Benny, I got nothing against him. I don’t really know him. And maybe I’ll get over hearing him being called ‘Ray’ by you. But I don’t know if I can call him that.”

“There’s nothing wrong with that, Ray.” Benny turned to the steering wheel and started the car. “I don’t think he’ll be offended if you just call him ‘Kowalski.’ He refers to you as ‘Vecchio’ now.”

“And I don’t like that! Ma treats him like family, so if he is, he should call me ‘Ray.’ ‘Vecchio’ is for those outside of the family.”

“Perhaps he will call you ‘Ray,’ once you and he become friends. Or perhaps you’ll develop nicknames for each other.” Benny soothed Ray’s ruffled feelings.

Ray yawned and leaned back against the seat as Benny drove toward Octavia. Yelling and crying as if he was a 9-year-old whose best friend went to play with the new kid in class had drained him, as much as the physical therapy. At least he wasn’t focusing on his aching side.

 _Maybe being a friend to the new kid wouldn’t be so bad, even if we have the same name_ , he thought. _At least he’s not just like me. And Benny wouldn’t want us to be friends if he wasn’t a good guy_.

“Hey, have you been to Nemo’s lately?” he heard himself asking Benny.

“No, Ray – not since you left. Ray Kowalski prefers pineapple on his pizza, but I told him that’s not on the menu at Nemo’s. So we never went there.”

Ray rolled his eyes. “Pineapple?! Oh, Jes– geez!” he corrected, not wanting to swear like Armando. “Benny, we’ve got to educate him about real Italian pizza! He’s spent enough time in the neighborhood, so he should know about it by now. I’m surprised Ma didn’t give him the good stuff.”

“She knows he loves Chicago deep dish pizza, so she didn’t insist. At least he eats her manicotti, lasagna and ziti, and anything else she cooks.”

“Well, when the doc says I can have fun again, we’re taking Kowalski to Nemo’s, There’s no excuse for him not trying the good stuff,” Ray said, then thought, _Am I really offering to spend time with the guy who replaced me?_  

He looked over at Benny, who had his eyes intently on the road. But Ray saw happiness in his eyes and a smile lighting his face.

 _Kowalski hasn’t replaced me at all_ , Ray reminded himself.

“I’d really like to go to Nemo’s with you and Ray, Ray,” Benny was saying. “It will be more fun for you than therapy.”

Ray caught his friend’s sarcasm. “Oh yeah, therapy’s loads of fun. You should know, Benny. But I bet Jill didn’t torture you as much as the guy I have.”

“I may need to disagree with that.”

Ray settled back against the headrest again, enjoying the talk with Benny that he’d missed so much. He closed his eyes. _I will be a friend to Kowalski, for Benny’s sake_ was his last thought before the steady motion of the car lulled him to sleep. 

 

 

 

  

       

 

 

 


End file.
